‘Messy’ by Heather Cocks and Jessica Morgan

Hot on the heels of reading Spoiled, I’ve indulged in a little more lighter-than-fairy-floss fluff from the Fuggirls (aka Heather Cocks and Jessica Morgan) with their latest release, Messy.

Messy continues with the characters introduced in Spoiled – Brooke Berlin, her half sister, Molly Dix, their movie star father, Brick Berlin, and a supporting cast of friends, frenemies and love interests.

Brooke decides that in order to keep her father’s attention and to further her acting career, writing a blog with the ‘inside word’ on everything from leggings to lunching is a fab idea. Brooke might not be the sharpest knife in drawer but she does recognise that between schoolwork, party-planning committee meetings and spa treatments, she hardly has the time to write it herself. Enter Max McCormack – an aspiring author, ‘weird girl’ at school, in need of cash and up to taking on the task of being Brooke’s ghost-blogger despite not knowing the difference between Converse and Choos.

‘This is a writing job,” Brooke said. “If it were tweeting, I’d have called it a tweetographer. Brooke Berlin’s essence is bigger than a hundred and forty characters, so I’m going old school.'”

Messy is a step-up from Spoiled. The characters are sharper and the Fug Girls trademark dry wit is in evidence on every page.

The book is studded with retro references from Judy Blume and Saved by the Bell to Melrose Place and Sweet Valley Confidential but it is  the bitey one-liners that had me laughing out loud. Brooke’s thoughts and opinions are pure gold-

Can I offer you some shoes? A high heel can fix almost anything.”

Your homework is to talk to Molly about the finer points of wearing shirts without writing on them. Rachel Zoe would die. And not in the good way.”

“…never in a million years would Brooke have imagined she’d bare her soul to a person in cargo pants…”

What is this.” she asked, using them to lift up something stripey. “Tights,” Max said. “No,” Brooke said, throwing them off to the side. “You are not in a Tim Burton movie. Next?”

Brick Berlin, the ditziest of fathers that gets some winning lines –

“…Brick was standing just off set….munching on trail mix and then punching the caloric information into an app on his phone. His face fell. “Raisins,” he said sadly…throwing a handful of trail mix in the trash. “The silent killer.””

“Brick clapped his hand on Brady’s back so hard that Brady coughed. “I was beginning to think nobody ever saw all the work I put into Dirk’s backstory. I bet I have it all written down, still. Thirty pages of feelings. I actually called it Thirty Pages of Feelings. I should give it to you for your paper.” he pulled out his phone. “I will email myself a note.””

I also loved the authors sly introduction of nonsense words that are probably part of acceptable language by now –

“If Brick was speechifying, it meant he wasn’t brainstorming an elaborate punishment.”

“Now if they weren’t quite friends, they were definitely friends-adjacent. Which made Max feel slightly less pathetic. There was nothing more obvious than the spunky, unpopular girl having the hots for the quarterback. But secretly liking one of your friends (adjacent)? Way less like the plot of an old Freddy Prinze Jr. Movie.”

“Bad news precious child – I tasted mayonnaise,” he said. “Even though I specifically asked if they were condimented…. My trainer says it takes a thousand crunches to offset a mayonnaise incident.

And on that note, pair Messy with a good homemade mayonnaise.

3/5 Any book that includes the line “…I’ve never heard anything more tragic than the song where he rhymed shrubbery with secret hot-tubbery.” deserves a read!

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s