‘Spoiled’ by Heather Cocks & Jessica Morgan

Spoiled by Heather Cocks and Jessica Martin (aka Go Fug Yourself) is written for the young adult market but if you’re a grown-up like me (one that understands Chuck and Blair MUST be together, and who knows who KStew and RPatz are) then Spoiled is a lovely bit of reading fluff, perfect for an afternoon in.

Before I get into the book, you need to get into Go Fug Yourself. A visit to this website never fails to make me laugh. Cocks and Martin have made a career out of finding the best and worst in celebrities, their frocks and the events they attend. Recently, I have particularly enjoyed their commentary of the Diamond Jubilee celebrations – their description of Princess Michael of Kent shows off their sharp, sarcastic humour (not a brand found so often in the US!) –

“Princess Michael of Kent — who looks both lovely and like she just fell out of a Judith Krantz adaptation…She also: met her first husband at a boar hunt (as one does), was married to him for seven years, and then got that marriage ANNULLED and married her current husband ONE MONTH AFTER THAT ESCANDALO!”

To the book – it’s about sixteen-year-old Molly Dix, who has just discovered that her biological father is Brick Berlin, world-famous movie star and red-carpet regular. Intrigued (and a little) terrified by her Hollywood lineage, Molly moves to Los Angeles and plunges headfirst into the deep of Beverly Hills celebrity life. But her new life includes Brooke Berlin, her gorgeous, spoiled half-sister, who welcomes Molly to la-la land with a smothering dose ‘sisterly love..’.

I love the one-liners. I hate it when Kathy Lette fills a book with one-liners but I’m happy for Cocks and Martin to do it. Here are some prime examples –

“Abandoning Brooke and Arugula, Shelby signaled the Hey! photographer, who obligingly started snapping her as she ran over to a table where one of the lesser Kardashians was autographing a pile of three-hundred-dollar tank tops from her new line, Klothes. The girls shrieked, the hugged without actually touching.
‘Something about that makes me uncomfortable,’ Arugula warned in a low voice.
‘I know, right?’ Brooke rolled her eyes. ‘That family needs to buy another consonant.'”

“‘There’s no sunscreen from the limelight,’ he’d intoned. Then they split a PowerBar.”

“Plopping down on the stone bench in her father’s rose garden, Brooke chewed on her lip, silently thanking God for creating flavored glosses that staved off stress eating.”

“Brooke’s nerves were as frayed as a pair of tights on Taylor Momsen.”

and lastly, my very favourite –

“‘What do we always say? WWBWD – What Would Blair Waldorf Do?”

Speaking of Blair, here’s my favourite Blair and Chuck picture –

Chuck and blair, waldorf and bass, Gossip Girl

In truth, there were perhaps one too many ‘now you’re in trouble’ plot points for my liking but, given the attention span of the average sixteen-year-old, the authors were probably spot on.

Read Spoiled with a PowerBar or better yet, a shot of wheatgrass juice. Make sure you count the calories.

3/5 It got an extra point for the Gossip Girl references.

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One response

  1. Pingback: ‘Messy’ by Heather Cocks and Jessica Morgan | booksaremyfavouriteandbest

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